Almost lover
by fishtalia13
Summary: John lost someone years before she met Sherlock. ((Fem!John/soldier O.C))


A.n: John is a girl who goes by John... her real name is Jane though

John wakes up to the bright sunlight hitting her in the face. She lies in bed for a few minutes longer until she finds the willpower to get out of bed. She walks into the kitchen of the flat and starts to make a cup of tea. The kettle is on to boil and she's leaning on the counter. She begins to fiddle with the string of her pajama pants. There is rustling from the living room and she goes to see what it is.

"What are you doing?" She asked a slight smile on her lips at the sight of Sherlock sitting on the sofa upside down looking at the calendar. "Trying to figure out why there is a star on today's date." John frowned and grabbed the calendar from the man. She looked for June 7 and indeed saw a giant star on the date; it was obviously something she put on there. What could it be-Oh no. John's heart dropped and dread filled her system. How could she forget? It used to plague her mind every day and now she can barely remember it.

The kettle was going off loudly from the kitchen but she couldn't find it in herself to look away from the calendar. How could she forget? She was such an awful person. She promised him she wouldn't. She laid the calendar down and headed towards the kitchen to turn the stove off.

"John?" Sherlock's deep voice cut through her mechanical movements. She looked up at him her eyes just the slightest bit misty. "John, are you okay?" Sherlock asked only a slight bit of concern in his voice. She gives him a smile filled with pain. "Yeah, I'm okay." She puts her tea down and heads up the stairs to her bedroom.

In her bedroom she changes into a white t-shirt and blue-jeans. She combs her ruffled short blonde hair and slips on her sneakers. She grabs her wallet and slips it in her back pocket. She does this all while trying to not to let tears fall. It's been a while since she's cried so hard.

She walks down stairs and starts for the door. "Where are you going?" Sherlock asked sitting on the sofa. "You're the genus here, figure it out. I'll be back tonight." And with this she walked out the door.

(Time skip)

It had been a busy day in the army hospital for john. They had several burn victims from an accidental bomb detonation at the base. It only hurt the people in the room but that had still been several people. Most of her patients had been second degree burns with a few first and third sprinkled in. She was about to head back to her bunk when a fellow doctor walked in. "Hey Jane. I have several more patients do you mind taking care of one of mine?" John sighed and nodded as she sat back down. "Thanks" Dan, the doctor, said.

John there for several minutes until there was a soft knock on her open door. "Come in." She said. A young man with shaved blonde hair walked in. "Uh, Are you ?" John nods and he stands awkwardly in the doorway. "You can take a seat." She said gesturing to the cot. The man sits down and smiles. "You look sleepy. "He says and john rolled her eyes. "Yeah I am." He laughed, "Sorry about bothering you then." His laugh sent chills down john's back. It was deep and rumbled through his whole body and into the ear in an almost blissfully way.

"Okay, ? What seems to be the problem?" She asks not looking up from her clipboard. "Uh, well….uh I think its best I just show you." He then proceeded in taking his uniforms pants off. On his upper thigh there was a severe burn that was scabbing. "How did that not burn through your uniform?" she asked hand reaching to observe around it. "It did….I just changed…" John just sighed and looked up at the man. That's when she finally noticed how attractive this man was. Everything from his perfectly sculpted jaw to his blue eyes, who seemed to be too happy for someone in the army, was perfect.

John found herself blushing just slightly from realizing how close to his crotch he was. "Well, -" "Please just call me Alex." He interrupted smiling. "Uh…okay. Alex. Alright, Alex do you have any kinds of medication you are allergic to?" She asks awkwardly. "Uh, not that I'm aware of." She wasn't even looking at him but she could still hear the smile in his voice. She sighs and writes something down and then looks back up at him.

"Does it not hurt?" She asks looking down at his burn. "Oh, god yeah. It like the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life….and I feel through a floor." She looks at him with wide eyes. "Uh, I…I'm going to prescribe you some pain reliever too….You don't act like you're in pain…" She said worriedly writing down something else on her clipboard. "Well, I mean I could start crying if you want me to." He said shrugging. She laughed. "Uh, I'm fine, thank you." "You have a pretty laugh." He said meeting her eyes. Her face went red and she distracted herself by running a hand through her short blonde hair. "U-uh thank you." She gave him a sheet of paper. "Uh go to the pharmacy and this filled." She said not meeting his eyes. "Alright. Thank you…. Hey uh I never got your first name." He said. John rolled her eyes at the petty attempt of a flirt. "My names Jane… Most people call me John though." Alex smiles and says, "I like john better…. You don't look like a Jane." And with that he left.

John looked out the window and watched as the London city slowly died out until they were out in a part of the country here seeing a house or two was an achievement.

The next time John saw Alex is when he was sent to the medical ward to deliver a paper, it just so happened John was in-between patients and was filling out papers in the lobby. "Well hello there doctor." Alex said leaning up against the counter. John rolled her eyes and laughed and pushed him away. "What are you doing here?" She asks, not looking up from here papers. "Been playing delivery boy all day." He says giving her a folder with a patients name on it. She puts it down and looks up at him. "Don't they have people to do that?" She asks. Alex nods and smiles, "I'm about to go on front-line so I was just about to do some sucking up." He begins to laugh and John can't help but chuckle.

"Well… be careful okay." She says looking down. Alex laughs and pats her back. "Whatever you say honey." He says running off smiling. All the doctors look at her bewilderment in their eyes.  
You're in a relationship?" Dan asks. She rolls her eyes and say, "No. HE's just a jerk."

The cabbie is trying to make small awkward talk throughout the ride but John just ignores him. This is too much, too many memories. She needs to just go numb.

The third time sees him is after a violent attack on one of their troops. There were two casualties and several hurt but all in all not too horrible. She has been working since early that morning and it was almost midday when Alex's walks into her office. He looks…. Different, older…more worn. "Oh, goodness Alex are you alright?" She says jumping up from her chair. He just looks down and takes a seat. "Were you hurt? Where? WERE YOU SHOT?" She asks frantically. He shakes his head and grabs her hands. "Look, John look at me… I'm fine… I got shot in the boot… didn't even breach the boot." There is a small world lifted off of her shoulders. "Why are you here then?" He looks down. "I wanted to talk to you." He looks up at her and she's shocked at how serious he looks. "I just watched two of my fellow soldiers die. One of which was my friend." Her heart ached for him and she pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry."

They stay in that hug what felt like a good fifteen minutes. Alex in that time began to sob. When they finally realized each other he looked a great deal younger; like he had cried the age out of him.

They sit there in silence. "So Alex…where are you from." He smiles and says, "A small country town just outside London. Went to a small school… I played trombone for a good seven years in the band there." He said as if he was remembering. "Oh, sorry…. I bet that was pretty lame." She laughs, "I learned clarinet in elementary." She said shrugging. He gave a small laugh and looked up at her. "Has anyone ever told you, you're beautiful?" She blushed and attempted to hide her face from him but he grabbed her cheek. "I'm serious, you really are."

Their lips had met before either of them had realized it. They sat there and kissed in her small office; No-one around except her, him and privacy. That was the night she fell in love with a man she barely knew.

Why? Oh, god why? Why did she let herself fall in love? Why?

After that he always sent her letters. Letters of how he was, how his comrades were, and how hard it all was. He told her about how hard it was…. Especially with the kids. He told her how he would never forgive himself because of the kids.

All she could was pray for him. Tell him that he was going to be okay. It hurt her more than he would ever know to see him suffering.

Then one day the letters stop coming. It wasn't all that scary at first because she had times where it would take a couple of days for the letters that got lost in the mail to find her. The next week she was expecting there once a month phone call but nothing happened. The more she waited the more anxious she got.

Her heart was aching and she did all she could not to cry in the cab.

In the morning she works mechanically helping the soldiers that made it back from the enemy raid on their camp. There is a numb hollow feeling in her soul though and she's pretty sure it won't go away.

She was in the middle of wrapping gauze around a female soldier's arm when the intercom went off. "Will Doctor Watson, please come to the O.R., I repeat Doctor Watson to the O.R." John stands up and walks to the O.R. quickly. When she gets there all she sees are smile full of sympathy and pity.

"Yes, I'm Doctor Watson. I was called to the O.R." The recipient nurse gave her a sad look and told her to go to room 204."

John walked into the room with confusion until he saw several of her doctor friends. See looked down at the bed everyone was surrounding and she felt like just leaving. Alex laid there in the bed motionless. "I'm sorry, Jane." Dan said and gave her a pat on the back and left. The doctor who had previously been operating on him looked at her and said, "We did all we could. We woke him up for you but his whole body is numb." She nodded and sat down next to Alex. Her eyes were misty and she looked at Alex. "A-are you in pain?" he asked. He gave a weak smiled. "No, I'm in the most pain I have ever been in my life." He chuckled but winced when the movements made the numbness go away.

She begins to sob. She was watching the love of her life die in front of her. "Hey, John… can you please not cry?" He asked. He looked serious. She nodded and put her hand in his. "You know when this was all over…. I wanted to marry you…I had talked to my mum and everything…" His voice is soft and labored. John's eyes were about to spill again until he said, "Come here." She did so centimeters away from his mouth. bHe looked at her lips for a minute and then look to her eyes. She couldn't stop the tears streaming down her cheeks. They brought their lips together and kept them there not exactly kissing.

Later that night, long after john had fallen asleep in his room, Alex died. The doctors had repeatedly told John that he went peacefully, but she knew Alex and knew he went down with a fight.

She was broken. She was hurt. All she wanted was to be with him. Two days later he was sent to his family and John had insisted go on front line; after a good two tears she got her wish

John sat in front of the gray tombstone that read: Alex Meten. It still hurt, even now. To know her first love was no longer was with her; never really was.

"He really did love you." A woman's voice said from behind her. John looked up to see a woman with brown hair, gray peppered throughout it. "He said he wanted to marry you so bad; I said he was crazy." John just looked back down on the grave. "He would want you to move on." The woman said.

John nodded and stood up. "I have been trying." And with that she left.

End.

A.N: Okay so as you can tell I know NOTHING of military...who how it works. Please comment and tell me what you think ^^


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